The conversation went like this...... Colin : "Tim, what do you think of my new hat?" Tim : "I think I'm missing the pint here!" Colin : "Don't you mean 'point'?" Tim : "Nope!!"
Or.... Tim : "I'm the driver!" Colin : "I'm the famous French jumping tree... BOO!" Tim : "Oops! Had an accident!!"
It's a stage rehearsal. Act1 Scene 1: Two blokes sitting under a Palm Tree.
C: It's sure hot on this beach. I need a beer. T: Yeah, I need a refill...In fact, I need more than a refill... Let's fill 'er up 'n go for a breeze - coast to coast - Easy Rider style... C: D'yer reckon we'll make it before the sun sets?
Tim: "In my left hand I have a plastic cup of white wine... and in my right hand I am holding an identical cup... 3D printed in invisible new plastic... I shall now proceed to pour the contents of the left hand cup into the right... Colin: "...and make a mess all over the floor."
Tim: And then I had to measure every slice of Battenburg to the exact same length and width. Have I told you this before Colin?" Colin: Smiles politely and says "I think that you may have mentioned it once or twice, Tim".
Act 2 Scene 2 C: (hands resting firmly on knees) I'm feeling a bit nervous these days as to how to spend my retirement...not just days but when the pension comes in! What do you recommend? T:(gesticulating effusively) Well, Colin...I like to keep myself fully occupied, so for me it's like this ... First of all, you have to weigh up the pros and cons of retirement and consider what you've got, then take careful steps, measuring every inch of the way (I mean centimetres...) continually balancing income against expenditure and assessing what you can do to make ends meet. For example, how long is a piece of string? We just don;t know how long we've got! Whoops! I've just spilt my squash! Now Colin, didn't I tell you that retirement is a piece of cake but do curb any ideas that you might have about having your cake and eating it! C:(bemused) Oh, I didn't consider that! That's good advice Tim! T: (bright spark shines forth) Hey, haven't you just won a prize? You know, you like baking so much, that THAT would be a good place to start. Never mind those bread rolls, get stuck into cakes...really technologically, mathematically scary ones! That's the way forwards in the twilight years! C: mmmmm errrr great! thanks for the advice Tim! (picks up Palm Tree and wanders off stage)
9 comments:
The conversation went like this......
Colin : "Tim, what do you think of my new hat?"
Tim : "I think I'm missing the pint here!"
Colin : "Don't you mean 'point'?"
Tim : "Nope!!"
Or....
Tim : "I'm the driver!"
Colin : "I'm the famous French jumping tree... BOO!"
Tim : "Oops! Had an accident!!"
Tim: "Honestly Colin, the steering wheel was THIS BIG !!!.
Colin thinks to himself: "you've lost the plot Tim, nobody has one that big".
Tim: I was driving along, getting a grip....
Colin: o oh... I've heard this one before....
It's a stage rehearsal.
Act1 Scene 1: Two blokes sitting under a Palm Tree.
C: It's sure hot on this beach. I need a beer.
T: Yeah, I need a refill...In fact, I need more than a refill... Let's fill 'er up 'n
go for a breeze - coast to coast - Easy Rider style...
C: D'yer reckon we'll make it before the sun sets?
Tim: "In my left hand I have a plastic cup of white wine...
and in my right hand I am holding an identical cup...
3D printed in invisible new plastic...
I shall now proceed to pour the contents of the left hand cup into the right...
Colin: "...and make a mess all over the floor."
Tim: And then I had to measure every slice of Battenburg to the exact same length and width. Have I told you this before Colin?"
Colin: Smiles politely and says "I think that you may have mentioned it once or twice, Tim".
Act 2 Scene 2
C: (hands resting firmly on knees) I'm feeling a bit nervous these days as to how to spend my retirement...not just days but when the pension comes in! What do you recommend?
T:(gesticulating effusively) Well, Colin...I like to keep myself fully occupied, so for me it's like this ... First of all, you have to weigh up the pros and cons of retirement and consider what you've got, then take careful steps, measuring every inch of the way (I mean centimetres...) continually balancing income against expenditure and assessing what you can do to make ends meet. For example, how long is a piece of string? We just don;t know how long we've got! Whoops! I've just spilt my squash! Now Colin, didn't I tell you that retirement is a piece of cake but do curb any ideas that you might have about having your cake and eating it!
C:(bemused) Oh, I didn't consider that! That's good advice Tim!
T: (bright spark shines forth) Hey, haven't you just won a prize? You know, you like baking so much, that THAT would be a good place to start. Never mind those bread rolls, get stuck into cakes...really technologically, mathematically scary ones! That's the way forwards in the twilight years!
C: mmmmm errrr great! thanks for the advice Tim!
(picks up Palm Tree and wanders off stage)
Nick (from offstage): "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
Or even....
Colin: You said I could be Louise next time, and you'd be Thelma...
Post a Comment